A howler to the masses
by AnastaziaIngrid
Summary: A howler has been sent to every single witch and wizard, what does it say? Major character death implied. Rated T for the death.


Standard dec: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this story, nor do I own the inspiration for it, that's all JKs work.

Please read favourite and review, I love reading your comments, they help me continue with my other stories.

Much love

Zia

* * *

You know, this is never what I wanted.

I wanted a nice, quiet life, maybe in London somewhere. Somewhere where I wouldn't have to worry about my abusive family any more.

I never wanted to be anything but harry. I wanted to be someone who could fade away, someone that wouldn't be noticed.  
Unfortunately I never get anything that I want.

I was one when a murderous fanatical bastard tried to kill me. A single year old. He changed the course of my life. I could have been a nobody, but he forced me to be so much more.  
Then, ten years later came the letter and a man that changed my life again. I wasn't exactly happy with my life up until that point, but I knew what I wanted, and I knew I could have it.  
The man told me I was special, At first it was nice, being someone that people admired. They didn't really admire me though. Soon I tired of being constantly recognised and watched. I wanted my simple life back.  
I wanted to be liked by people for being harry, not Harry Potter, saviour of the wizarding world.  
Soon, the murderous fanatical bastard was trying to kill me again. I defeated him, and felt good for it. That is, until the thoughts started. The ones telling me I should have just died instead, because everyone would be better off if I wasn't around.

So it progressed. I kept saving people and defeating evil. It became expected of me. But of course, I was in the limelight more than ever before, and the ridicule and hate started.  
People were constantly putting me down. I forever thought I wasn't good enough. My thoughts were dark and unwelcome.  
Once again, people 'loved' me. I was expected to be great once more. I was expected to save everyone. I didn't want to. I wanted to mourn the closest thing I had to a father.

I constantly thought about leaving. Just leaving the wizarding world and never coming back. I couldn't do it though, mostly because I would have been found and tortured.

So I started to destroy the parts of Voldemort's soul, piece by piece. It wasn't ever easy. Dumbledore died though, and I was alone again.

I kind of wanted that to be the end, I hoped that people would leave me be.  
Of course, that wasn't possible. I was thrust in to the role of saviour again. I did my 'duty' to you all and destroyed the rest of his soul. It was such a gruelling and long task.

The end of the war was near, I'd destroyed all but two of the horcruxes, and knew that the other two were about to be ruined.  
I walked in to the forest, knowing I was going to die. Honestly though, I was scared, because my death wasn't going to be on my terms. The past year had me constantly wishing for death, and now that the moment was in my grasp, I was afraid.  
Voldemort killed me. I stood there and watched him raise his wand, and kill me. I was both scared and relieved.  
While I was dead, Dumbledore and I spoke, and I realised that I couldn't stay dead. And so, I returned, both happy and sad, and killed the man that ruined my life.

For the next few years, people were constantly seeking me out to thank me, and give me gifts, and offer themselves or their children up for marriage. I couldn't handle the ridiculousness of the situation. All of the attention was entirely too much, so I shut myself away. I warded my house and wouldn't let healers in. I wouldn't even let my friends in. I sent house elves out for my errands and food.  
I always disposed of my post as soon as I received it, in an effort to retreat from you all further.

My dark thoughts got worse, and I constantly thought about death. I felt like I could fade away and no one would notice, or it wouldn't matter.  
I hated myself, I hated that I couldn't handle how people treated me.  
Every single thing about me is hateful and unworthy.

You're probably wondering why you've received this howler. Why every single witch and wizard in the world is listening to me read this letter to them at this very moment.

It is because I, Harry James Potter, am about to kill myself.  
I've had too long and hard and hateful of a life to continue living.

So, thank you, for the support and hate, ridicule and love. Thank you for forcing me to be someone I'm not.

Goodbye.


End file.
